Galileo Confirmed

Tonight at 1905 PDT, Kathe and I were heading back to Corvallis from Albany on Highway 20 when we pulled over near the Hewlett-Packard campus, rested a pair of Fisher-Price binoculars on the roof of our van, and observed the distinct crescent shape of Venus.

We enjoyed it a lot.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may."\\

Uncle C, Please Contact Me

Uncle C, please contact me at the e-mail address that is posted on that other blog.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says: "Everyone who isn't Uncle C, don't worry about it."\\

Good Samaritan's New Wing

The other month, when my father was in Good Sam, I noticed their new wing and meant to blog about it, but forgot about it until just today when I was up on the hill (as it happened, on another errand for my father). Possibly I will later move it to an earlier date, which will retroactively make this a retroactive post....

The new wing is still under construction, but the graffito I noticed on the top floor is no longer visible -- I think some new construction has covered it up.

But as I was saying, I admired the new wing under construction, reminded a bit of Major Matt Mason's Moon base playset, and thought that it must surely be attractive to urban explorers.

Then I noticed a graffito (I think it said "Rat" or something like that, which I took to be a personal tag), which had been placed in violation of the conventions of the urban explorer but consistent with the conventions of the smart-aleck.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You would know about smart-alecks, John."\\

Comment Moderation Enabled

Any future comments on this blog will be subject to my approval.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Up yours, NJ."\\

It Suits Today the Meek and Base

The other day I was watching a financial news report and saw a great big red flag (Chinese) flying in front of the New York Stock Exchange.

Probably not one person in ten who saw that image even noticed the irony.

A socialist of, say, 1908, if granted a millennial vision of the future, would have drawn all the wrong conclusions.

George Orwell, though, would have recognized the final scene of Animal Farm.

BTW, have any of you seen the British comic strip "Maggie's Farm", in which a human (well, zombie) manager is hired for the dilapidated Animal Farm? She remains puzzled by why production continues to fall, in spite of strictly observed taxidermist policies, although she is pleased by the reduced costs....

Anyway, it's a strange old world, isn't it?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Yes, it is."\\

My Father is Not a Mennonite

He's just staying at their home.

He has a massive infection, caused by the indwelling catheter he was wearing due to complications of his spinal injury, and is now in the fourth week of a 6-8 week program of intravenous antibiotics, every four hours.

That requires him to live at the Mennonite Home until he is done with his every-four-hours infusions. The unfamiliar surroundings add to the confusion caused by his infection, which adds to the confusion caused by his stroke.

It helps if there is someone at his bedside to help re-orient him when he starts thinking that he needs to hurry to OSU to look after his Psychology students, or to the church to look after his Vacation Bible School kids, or to the airbase to report for duty.

Mom is doing most of that. I fill in for her in the evenings. It is wearing me out, and I hate to think what it is doing to Mom.

Just on top of everything else....

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You do what you gotta."\\

Naughty Sarah

Sarah Palin is wearing Naughty Monkey shoes.

At least she forwent the Quickie, the Nookie and the Bonk Her in favor of the Double Dare, but even so, talk about raising issues of judgment....

Presumably Naughty Moose hip waders were not available in her size.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "John, I understand that you are under a lot of stress, but really...."\\

The End of the Story, Epilogue

Then again, maybe Kathe and I do have a future together after all.

We'll see.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Only time will tell."\\

Is There a Way?

I have always said, "There is a way", but what if there isn't?

Perhaps I have put myself in a position from which there is no honorable way to move, no way to avoid a choice that breaks the heart of at least one person I would rather die than hurt.

But to choose death myself would only cause still more pain than any choice I can make. So what then?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I have no idea at all."\\

One Way or Another

I hadn't told my now-grown children about my relationship with R***** or about G****'s birth, not because I considered it a shameful matter but because I wanted to respect R*****'s privacy and because I thought explaining the matter might prove...complicated. Basically, I didn't want to get into it, and I didn't see any pressing reason to do it.

Now that Kathe and I are apparently parting ways, there is indeed a pressing reason.

The other day, one of my daughters called me from Texas and asked casually how we were doing. I felt I had little choice but to tell her all of it. I was sorry to dump it all on her that was, but there was, after all, a lot to tell, so I did.

I was encouraged by the fact that her first response to the information dump was to tell me that my first priority needed to be to be a good Daddy to Gideon. That is the response I would have wanted to hear from her, and I agree.

I also asked her to call her sister in Portland and ask her to call me. Instead, she called her sister and, without explaining why, urged her to visit Kathe, and she is in town now, and I'm very glad of that.

So, the girls know the story now, and the boys know most of it. Soon enough, everyone will know the whole story, and soon after they will all be sick of it, because while some of the story does not reflect well on me, I am not in the least ashamed of knowing R*****. Or G****.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Knowing what you should be ashamed of is half of a moral education."\\

UPDATE: At R*****'s request, I have deleted her name and our child's, since we will not be living together after all.

My Father is Very Sick

At Good Samaritan getting IV antibiotics for a resistant bladder infection, which turned into three antibiotics for a bladder and kidney infection, which is now, I think, three different and stronger antibiotics for an infection of his kidneys, heart and possibly other structures.

Dad has been plagued for months by a series of highly-resistant infections. They keep piling on new antibiotics, but meanwhile the bugs keep getting more resistant.

If you would like to do something in honor of the suffering of my father and others like him, please go right now and wash your hands.

I'm serious. Wash your hands now. Wash your hands several times a day, with soap and hot water, taking as long as it takes to sing one verse of your favorite song.

And not with antibacterial soap, either. Casual use of antibacterial substances is part of the problem.

Wash your hands, people. Wash surfaces that people touch frequently (like computer keyboards). Wash them, and wash them again when needed.

I am not being the least bit blasphemous or facetious when I implore you earnestly to for God's sake wash your hands.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "When was the last time you washed me, John?"\\

After the End of the Story

I have at last seen the e-mail headed "The End of the Story", and have also learned a couple of significant facts.

One is that the e-mail wasn't actually as bad as I had imagined. Quite reasonable under the circumstances, actually. Another is that Kathe did, in fact, send me a copy, and when she heard that I had complained of not getting it, she sent it again.

Finally, Kathe didn't actually send the e-mail to everyone on Earth, but only to those with whom she had excvhanged e-mails in the past. This last was a comfort to hear, because just before Kathe sent out the e-mail she asked me to provide her with a copy of my own Friends list on Hotmail.

The End of the Story

If you are someone who knows me personally, you have probably already seen an e-mail which Kathe apparently sent out to everyone she could reach who knew me. I haven't seen it myself yet, because Kathe didn't include me among the recipients and because those who have seen it have all sent me comments like, "I deleted it and put her on my Blocked Sender list" or "There was nothing in it you would benefit from seeing".

That last comment is probably right. Still, I'm only human, and I do wonder what was in it. So to anyone who has received an e-mail from Kathe titled "The End of the Story", I invite you to forward it to me, with or without your own comments.

And to Kathe I will say, I would never have done to you what you have now done to yourself.

And by the way: one day I hope you will be willing to hear me say what I say right now: I love you.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Life Goes On."\\

Happy Birthday

My father's birthday is not until the 4th of July. Today was not my niece Andrea's birthday, either. But hey, close enough, at least this year.

Kathe and I went out to Bellfountain. So did my brother Tom and his girls, Andrea and Linda. So did Casey, the girls' grandmother, my mother's sister Pat and my father's sister Ann, Ann's husband Wesley.

A fairly low-key event. Andrea got some presents (including a book about Batman, her favorite character, with a read-along tape I recorded for her), and so did Dad (including a book of allegedly brain-stimulating puzzles Kathe found at Browser's Books). We had wrap sandwiches, and pieces of a flag-themed cake.

Not much, just a family event. The big event was that someone's dentures got misplaced, I won't say whose.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Family is important, if only to one's own family."\\

Surviving A Disaster

Informative interview with Amanda Ripley, author of:
The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why

http://www.motherjones.com/interview/2008/06/five-ways-to-survive-disaster.html
Disaster survival tips:
1. Learn how to text message. Oftentimes, as in Katrina, text messages will go through when cell phone calls won't.

2. Expect smoke. If you're in an airplane, know how many rows are between you and the exits. If you're at home, know your way to the door without the lights on. Most fire deaths are due to smoke.

3. Get to know your neighbors. They may be your key to survival. The stronger your community is, the better equipped you will be to survive a disaster.

4. Practice. Many people who survived the WTC attacks knew where the staircases were because they did lots of fire drills. Children especially should know where to go in case of emergency, and walk that route until they are familiar with it.

5. Lose weight. Overweight people often are less able to move quickly in escape situations that call for speed.

Memorial Day

In the Oregon State University Daily Barometer for 29 May 2008, columnist Dan Fitzpatrick complains that "the mainstream media has [sic] been paying less...attention to American...wars in the Middle East", and proposes to "provide a brief dedication" to recent Medal of Honor recipients.

Unfortunately, Fitzpatrick is unable to follow through on his lofty goals, and instead uses American heroes as cheap props in a feeble attempt to dress up the abject failures of his beloved President Bush, talking wishfully about "the success of last year's troop surge".

Let me tell you about honoring the service of brave and capable Americans in war, without regard for the politics and personalities which sent them off to war.

When I was serving in the United States Navy, I was stationed at a medical center which had been in continuous use for over a hundred years. Although most of the base was modern and up-to-date, there were a few reminders of older times, most notably a military cemetery behind the enlisted men's quarters. I walked past that cemetery almost every day, and frequently paused to read the stones and contemplate their meaning: "Unknown USN...Unknown CSN...LCpl. R. Jones, USMC...Ens. M. Richards, CSN...."

The stones were identical, and no effort was made to separate the Union from the Confederate dead. This in spite of the fact that, no matter what the Confederate sailors' personal motivations might have been, the judgment of history is that the Confederacy was founded on "treason in defense of slavery".

But there's something more: the graves were dug (and filled) right in the midst of that terrible war, by Union sailors who were burying their own comrades -- and the men who had killed them.

That is what I call setting aside politics in order to honor the dead.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Rest in peace, one and all."\\

Library Books, 24 May 2008

Ex machina. Book 04, March to war / Brian K. Vaughan, writer ; Tony Harris, pencils ; Tom Feister, inks.
6/3/2008
*
A distant soil. Vol. IV, Coda / Colleen Doran.
6/3/2008
*
RG Veda. Vol. 10 / by Clamp.
6/3/2008
*
Rhode Island blues [sound recording] / by Fay Weldon.
6/3/2008
*
The 9/11 report : a graphic adaptation / by Sid Jacobsen and Ernie Colón ; [with a foreword by Thomas H. Kean and Lee H. Hamilton].
6/3/2008
*
Torchwood, the complete first season [DVD] / British Broadcasting Corporation ; executive producers, Russell T. Davies, Julie Gardner ; producer, Richard Stokes ; written by Russell T. Davies ... [et al.] ; directed by Brian Kelly ... [et al.].
6/4/2008
*
World of warcraft : the art of the trading card game / forewords by Samwise Didier and Glenn Rane ; introduction by Jeremy Cranford.
6/4/2008
*
Superman vs. Hollywood : how fiendish producers, devious directors, and warring writers grounded an American icon / Jake Rossen.
6/4/2008
*
A book is born : 24 authors tell all / created by Nancy C. Cleary with co-authors Christine Louise Hohlbaum ... [et al.] ; illustrations by Kelley Cunningham ; editing by Kim Pearson.
6/4/2008
*
Boldly live as you've never lived before : (unauthorized and unexpected) life lessons from Star trek / Richard Raben and Hiyaguha Cohen.
6/5/2008
*
A woman's self-esteem : stories of struggle, stories of triumph / Nathaniel Branden.
6/5/2008
*
Sublime spaces & visionary worlds : built environments of vernacular artists / Leslie Umberger ; with contributions by Erika Doss ... [et al.].
6/6/2008
*
Your perfect right : assertiveness and equality in your life and relationships / Robert Alberti, Michael Emmons.
6/7/2008
*
Overstreet comic book price guide / Robert M. Overstreet.
6/11/2008
*
Batman. The long Halloween / writer, Jeph Loeb ; artist, Tim Sale ; colors, Gregory Wright ; created by Bob Kane.
6/18/2008
*
Antique bakery Vol. 3 / Fumi Yoshinaga.
6/18/2008
*
Imadoki! Nowadays. Vol. 01, Dandelion / Yû Watase.
6/18/2008
*
Maxwell Strangewell / story and art by the Fillbach Brothers.
6/18/2008
*
Perfect example / by John Porcellino.
6/18/2008
*
Scott Pilgrim. Vol. 04, Scott Pilgrim gets it together / [Bryan Lee O'Malley].
6/18/2008
*
Sorcerers & secretaries. Vol. 02 / by Amy Kim Ganter.
6/18/2008
*
Spent / Joe Matt.
6/18/2008
*
Bizarro comics / [writers, Jessica Abel ... [et al.].
6/20/2008
*
The rejection collection vol. 2 : the cream of the crap / edited by Matthew Diffee.
6/20/2008
*
All I need to know I learned from my cat (and then some) / Suzy Becker.
6/20/2008
*
Einstein simplified : cartoons on science / by Sidney Harris.
6/20/2008
*
Great lies to tell small kids / Andy Riley.
6/20/2008
*
Schulz's youth / by Charles M. Schulz ; foreword by Jerry Scott.
6/20/2008
*
Walt & Skeezix. 1923 & 1924 / by Frank O. King.
6/20/2008
*
The Bakers. "Do these toys belong somewhere?" / Kyle Baker.
6/20/2008

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Read 'em and weep."\\

McCain Video

Here's your straight-talking maverick, America: http://video.tagged.com/?v=GEtZlR3zp4c&ect=dxaxxuk&al=1

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Next question."\\

Junking the Tercel

Kathe and I have owned three Tercel station wagons over the years. Overall, they've been the most reliable vehicles we've owned since original-series Beetles became too expensive to maintain.

Our most recent Tercel, a 1984, recently started making funny noises, which turned out to be very extensive wear that would have required about $1,200 worth of work. We could probably buy two equivalent cars for that much money, so sentimental and frugal as we are, the Tercel will be junked.

It's parked in front of the house right now. We've already stripped it of small items like the ice scrapers and the jack. Monday or Tuesday, we will v-e-e-e-r-y carefully drive it down to B&R Auto Wrecking and be done with it.

We also saved the owner's manual -- anybody need one?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Life goes on."\\

My Father is Better

Actually, his recovery has been so rapid that his care team aren't trying to set goals for him, they're just monitoring his progress and waiting to see how much he recovers and how fast.

Kathe and I went to Eugene for his care conference, and for his first time out of the facility since his arrival. We went out to a Red Robin (more my parents' sort of place than mine, but not bad), hoping to be joined by my cousin Jean and her husband, but they were delayed.

Afterward, we went back to Dad's room at Riverpark to wait for the others to arrive, but the night shift I worked the night before caught up to me, and Kathe persuaded me to leave for home. I slept in the car for most of the trip.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "So far, so good."\\

All Those Kids, What to Do?

The authorities are hard-pressed to know what to do with all the kids they carried away from the FLDS compound: where to house them, who should care for them, how to deal with culture shock.

Hey, guys, here's a thought: Why didn't you just leave the women and children in place and just run the menfolk out? Jail them or rent motel rooms or whatever, let the DA's people and the social workers interview everyone in good order, and decide in some reasonable period of time who can go home before the trials and who can't?

A lot less trouble and disruption than spiriting the kids away and scattering them on the winds, seems like. Probably less expensive, too.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity. And never attribute to individual stupidity what can be explained by institutional culture."\\

My Father is Very Sick

He had to go off the coumadin in order to have oral surgery, and while he was off it, a blood clot formed and he had a stroke.

He's improving rapidly, but is still going to be in "skilled nursing facility" in Eugene fo awhile.

It's a nice one....


//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Be brave."\\

365 New Superheroes -- Honest!

A couple of years ago, I grandly announced at a purpose-built blog that I was going to create 365 new superheroes over the course of a year.

Considering that time was I tossed off a dozen or more in a single letter composed in an idle afternoon, I thought I could keep to an average of one a day without a lot of trouble.

Well, quite possibly I could have, but I didn't. I posted in fits and spurts, and eventually stopped posting at all.

So, I'm starting over again, as of today, 8 May 2008. Go to my blog and see how I'm doing.

//The Magic Eight Ball says, "So far, so good."\\

Spring Planting

I helped plant flags at the Iraq Memorial at the Valley Library today.

Each red flag represents five dead Americans. Each white flag represents five dead Iraqis. Takes awhile to plant that many flags.

I don't know what the other people planting flags were thinking about as they carried out the task, but I kept flashing back to occasions when I have had to handle actual dead people.

So many flags....

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Remember the dead".\\

The Bush Memorial

News item sent to me by Kathe's son Jake, from his Flotsam web site: The Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco, filed paperwork at San Francisco City Hall April 25 to put an initiative on the November ballot. Leaders are optimistic that they'll collect at least 7,200 valid signatures to put the measure before voters. The measure would change thethe name of the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant on Jan. 20, 2009, inauguration day.

Well, all right, but no President of recent memory will ever have a more appropriate one than Ronald Reagan has in the Ben Linder Room at the University of Oregon.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Remember."\\

More Dead Gophers

The gophers are still coming back, must not have killed enough of them last time. More Giant Destroyer cartridges....

My father had a bad fall this morning (ahem, before I arrived to help him with his PT), so I got to practice my wound care, washing and bandaging a skin tear on his arm and washing the blood out of his shirt sleeve.

Whether you are frail or vigorous, at age 77 your skin is liable to be fragile and easily torn. They call them skin tears in the trade, and they are almost as feared as broken bones.

Oh, well. Hydrogen peroxide does a good job of cleaning both skin tears and stained cotton.

Baptizing Chu

Kathe and I went to Portland over the weekend to attend the baptism of Chu Taylor, the second Asian child to be adopted by my longtime friend Francine deGrood Taylor and her husband Calvin Taylor.

By accident, at first we walked into the wrong church in a neighborhood impressively thick with them, and saw a poster with one of my favorite quotations, "Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." When we finally found the right church, we got to hear Calvin playing the tune commonly known as "Morning Has Broken". I was struck by the coincidence: both the quote and the song are attributed to Francis of Assisi. So okay, he's still big, that's no surprise.

We also dropped off some comics to be assessed at Karen's Comics, and found it to be a very enjoyable experience. Karen and her husband are good people, and I was glad to have made their acquaintance and glad to have found a "good home" for the comics.

And we found a coffee shack to add to our collection. I'll post a report about it on the coffee shack blog as soon as I can figure out how to download the photos from my new phone.

Library Books, 11 April 2008

Children of the storm [cass/book] / by Elizabeth Peters. Title April 14, 2008

Doctor Who, the complete third series [DVD] / a British Broadcasting Corporation production ; Canadian Broadcasting Corporation ; CBC Television ; produced by Phil Collinson. Title April 15, 2008

Inside straight / edited by George R. R. Martin ; assisted by Melinda M. Snodgrass and written by Daniel Abraham ... [et al.]. Title April 15, 2008

Monsters / Charlie White ; introduction by Sally O'Reilly ; interview by Benjamin Weissman. Title April 15, 2008

Graphic classics. Vol. 14, Gothic classics / edited by Tom Pomplun. Title April 18, 2008

Wormwood, gentleman corpse. Vol. 01, Birds, bees, blood & beer / created, written and drawn by Ben Templesmith. Title April 18, 2008

Confessions of a blabbermouth / written by Mike Carey & Louise Carey ; illustrated by Aaron Alexovich. Title April 18, 2008 8. Dead@17. 01 / written & illustrated by Josh Howard. Title April 18, 2008

Earthian. Vol. 03 / art and story by Yun Kouga. Title April 18, 2008

Ads to icons : how advertising succeeds in a multimedia age / Paul Springer. Title April 25, 2008

Fell. Vol. 01, Feral City / written by Warren Ellis ; illustrated by Ben Templesmith. Title April 29, 2008

Powers. Vol. 05, Anarchy / created and produced by Brian Michael Bendis and Mike Avon Oeming ; color art by Peter Pentazis. Title April 29, 2008

Blue pills : a positive love story / Frederick Peeters ; translated from the French by Anjali Singh. Title April 29, 2008

Welcome to Tranquility. Vol. 01 / Gail Simone : writer ; Neil Googe : artist. Title April 29, 2008

The books of magic. Vol. 07, Death after death / created by Neil Gaiman ; writer, ; illustrators, Title May 08, 2008

James Sturm's America : God, gold and golems. Title May 08, 2008

Shiny beasts / Rick Veitch with Alan Moore and S.R. Bissette. Title May 08, 2008

Storeyville / [Frank Santoro]. Title May 08, 2008

Tellos. Vol. 1, Reluctant heroes / story Todd Dezago and Mike Wieringo. Title May 08, 2008

Tellos. Vol. 2, Kindred Spirits / story Todd Dezago and Mike Wieringo. Title May 08, 2008

With the light. 01 : raising an autistic child / Keiko Tobe. Title May 08, 2008

The saga of the bloody Benders : the infamous homicidal family of Labette County, Kansas / written and illustrated by Rick Geary. Title May 08, 2008

Note: Just because I choose to make this information public doesn't mean I approve of anyone snooping in other people's library information.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Create no easements at this time."\\

Poisoning Gophers in the Yard

I went to my parents' house today, as I do on Wednesdays lately, to help my father with his physical therapy. Mostly, I walk alongside him while he goes up and down on his property, and do small things around the house in between walks, so he can rest.

Today, I dug up gopher mounds while he rested after our first walk, and buried burning Giant Destroyer cartridges in them, so that their noxious outpourings of oxides of sulphur and carbon could have their chance to kill the critters.

Dig, poke around, find the gopher run, light a cartridge, stick it in, bury the whole mess, repeat. I repeated eight times altogether.

There was a book published awhile back, the von Hoffman Brothers' Big Damn Book of Sheer Manliness, which asserted that Corry's Slug and Snail Death was by fare the yard-care product with the manliest name. I have to contend that Giant Destroyer exceeds even Slug and Snail Death for sheer manliness, although admittedly Corry's has the spiffier package.

So, we'll see whether I got all the gophers with those eight sticks, or whether we'll need to go after them again. Personally, I'd rather just persuade gophers to only come up alongside fences and garden walls -- if they would just do that, we could probably live in peace with them.

And my father's health continues to improve, as evidenced by how much longer the walks we're taking are getting.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Try not to take too much pleasure in killing animals in their homes with poison gas -- it's no more good karma than it is good taste."\\

New Coffee Shack Blog

Kathe and I have started a new blog, devoted to the coffee shacks of the Pacific Northwest, or anyway of the mid-Willamette Valley.

Every time we stop at a new coffee shack, with the owner's permission we photograph the building. We also collect any punchcards or other memorabilia. And we have a mocha, and review it for quality.

One day, we might just do the coffee table book we've been talking about for years, but in the meantime we've got the blog, and some digital pictures to put on it.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Be kind in your reviews."\\

Now It Can Be Told

At this late date, I suppose there's no harm in revealing that in the Spring of 2001, I was flown to Washington DC to consult with President George W. Bush on Middle Eastern policy.

I don't know why they asked me -- I'm not in any sense an expert on the subject -- but then the Bush Administration hasn't been especially noted for its good sense.

Still, they asked, so I did my best.

So there I was, sitting across the Oval Office desk from George W. Bush, and he told me what he had in mind.

"We're going to transform the entire Middle East with a bold initiative, starting in one country and then moving on, domino after domino. But first we have to establish a beachhead."

I nodded, beginning to get excited.

"That's a bold move, all right. Well, the obvious choice is Israel, which is practically a U.S. client state. Persuading them to grant meaningful sovereignty to the Palestinians, and providing the Palestinians with the support they will need to build up a viable country, will be quite a challenge, but --"

"We weren't thinking of Israel, actually."

"Oh. Well, the obvious second choice is Egypt, where the government is closer to a functioning republic than any of the other Arab countries...."

I stopped as I saw him shaking his head.

"Oh. Well then you must be thinking of Saudi Arabia, where the U.S. has almost as much influence. They're a long way from democracy, but I suppose it could be possible.... But that's not what you had in mind, either, is it?"

So he told me: it was going to be Iraq.

I didn't bother to tell him that was about my seventeenth choice.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "That was unkind, John."\\

Out From The Library, as of 21 March 2008

1.	This book contains graphic language : comics as literature / Rocco Versaci. Title	March 31, 2008
2.	Ex machina. Book 03, Fact v. fiction / Brian K. Vaughan, writer ; Tony Harris, pencils ; Tom Feister, inks. Title	April 03, 2008
3.	Overstreet comic book price guide / Robert M. Overstreet. Title	April 03, 2008
4.	Queen & country. Vol. 08, Operation Red Panda : report of proceedings / compiled by Greg Rucka ; illustrated by Mike Norton and Steve Rolston. Title	April 03, 2008
5.	A distant soil. Vol. III, The Aria / Colleen Doran. Title	April 03, 2008
6.	Batman : Hush. Volume two : Hush / Jeph Loeb, writer ; Jim Lee, penciller ; created by Bob Kane. Title	April 03, 2008
7.	Edmund and Rosemary go to hell : a story of our times with (hopefully) some hope for us all / Bruce Eric Kaplan. Title	April 03, 2008
8.	Freud for beginners / Richard Appignanesi & Oscar Zarate. Title	April 03, 2008
9.	Lost at sea / Byran Lee O'Malley. Title	April 03, 2008
10.	Paintings of you / writer, Mia Paluzzi ; artist, Mia Paluzzi, Chris Delk. Title	April 03, 2008
11.	Silverfish / David Lapham ; greytones by Dom Ramos ; lettering by Jared K. Fletcher. Title	April 03, 2008
12.	The early years of Mutt & Jeff / [by Bud Fisher] ; edited by Jeffrey Lindenblatt. Title	April 03, 2008
13.	Blue Beetle. [Vol. 02], Road trip / John Rogers & Keith Giffen, writers ; Cully Hamner, Rafael Albuquerque, ... [et al.], artists ; Guy Major, colorist ; Phil Balsman, Pat Brosseau, Jared K. Fletcher, letterers. Title	April 14, 2008
14.	Batman : bloodstorm / writer, Doug Moench ; penciller, Kelley Jones ; Batman created by Bob Kane. Title	April 14, 2008
15.	Children of the storm [cass/book] / by Elizabeth Peters. Title	April 14, 2008
16.	Good as Lily / written by Derek Kirk Kim ; illustrated by Jesse Hamm ; lettering by Jared K. Fletcher. Title	April 14, 2008
17.	Romeo and Juliet / by William Shakespeare ; adapted by Richard Appignanesi ; illustrated by Sonia Leong. Title	April 14, 2008
18.	Graphic classics. Vol. 14, Gothic classics / edited by Tom Pomplun. Title	April 18, 2008
19.	Invincible. 08, my favorite martian / created by Robert Kirkman & Cory Walker. Title	April 18, 2008
20.	Wormwood, gentleman corpse. Vol. 01, Birds, bees, blood & beer / created, written and drawn by Ben Templesmith. Title	April 18, 2008
21.	Cairo : a graphic novel / written by G. Willow Wilson ; art by M.K. Perker ; lettered by Travis Lanham. Title	April 18, 2008
22.	Confessions of a blabbermouth / written by Mike Carey & Louise Carey ; illustrated by Aaron Alexovich. Title	April 18, 2008
23.	Dead@17. 01 / written & illustrated by Josh Howard. Title	April 18, 2008
24.	Earthian. Vol. 03 / art and story by Yun Kouga. Title	April 18, 2008
25.	Tramps like us. Vol. 14 / by Yayoi Ogawa. Title	April 18, 2008

Now We're Getting Somewhere

Awhile back I suggested that once we have either an African American or a woman as President, the real 21st Century can begin, and this Godawful mess we've had since 2001 will shrivel up and blow away.

Now comes this headline: SPACEWALKERS ASSEMBLING GIANT ROBOT.

Hey, all right! Now, about those rocket packs....

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "John, I thought that initial remark was just a joke."\\

Hypochondria

The other day, I noticed that the place where the neurosurgeon opened my skull is decidedly flat under the scar.

Is it hypochondria that makes me think that today it's actually indented, or did I just not notice it before?

Is it hypochondria to think that the recent extreme stress in my life is causing me to develop hypochondria?

The Courage of George W. Bush

George W. Bush displayed more courage than I would have expected of him when he vetoed the torture ban. I would have expected him to just quietly ignore the whole matter and then gone right on torturing. But no, he actually went on record as endorsing torture. That did indeed require a certain measure of courage.

The kind of courage, that is, that it takes to order someone he's never met to torture people he'll never see. But as far as that kind of courage goes, he has more than I would have expected.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Give credit where credit is due."\\

I'm Glad I Have His Genes

My father is 77 and has had a series of major health problems in recent years, but right now I'm visiting my parents' home at Bellfountain near Monroe, and appreciate what I've seen of his improving condition.

I'm making use of my massage experience and half-formed nursing skills to assist in his rehabilitation. I've been supervising his stretching exercises and inspecting his shoes and walkers, but by far the most important thing I've been doing for him is simply walking over the grounds with him.

My parents' house sits halfway up one side of a long narrow valley, and they own the land from the roadway down to the bottom and up the opposite side to the ridgecrest, one of several similar properties in the valley. When they bought it in 1989, the opposite hillside was forested and the bottom was pasture. They undid the drainage that had been done years before and restored a pond and wetland that was much as it had been before the land was settled. Later on, they re-drained part of the wetland in order to plant more trees for the sake of income in later years, but there is still a substantial pond, and migrating birds still stop there.

When Dad was 73 and recovering from a hip replacement, he said, "I guess I'm just about able to hobble around the house now. Some people would say that's enough at 73."

"Time enough for that when you're eighty-three," I retorted. Possibly I felt the remark hit too close to home, since Kathe has also had both hips replaced, but Dad was clearly pleased with my response.

In recent years, Dad has been too limited in his mobility, or too frail, or both, to walk over his property the way he'd like to, but just recently he's been making some impressive progress.

We walk down to the barn and poke around in the workshop on the ground floor, or go up the outside stairs to go over the books in the library there. On Monday, we went on past the barn to see how the occasional worker had been handling the slash from recent tree-pruning (answer: burning some of it in a couple of small piles, leaving more for small wildlife). The bridge over the creek is currently made up of rocky stuff that I'd be hesitant to go over in a truck, but once it's been filled in with some small broken rock I'm hoping to get Dad up to the ridge on a bright Spring day so he can look down on all his land at once.

The Voice of History

I am deeply troubled by the way that Republicans are treating the threat of global warming as though it were a fit subject for partisan scheming, and not an issue we should all unite behind.

Why, if they had done the same with the threat of war with the Axis nations, we'd have stayed out of the war for two years or longer, if not actually being caught flat-footed by a sneak attack.

Oh. Right.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I don't care who was partisan first, John -- stop it already."\\

Do Antidepressants Work??

Answer: They work exactly as their designers expected them to: they help people who are suffering from a specific diagnosable brain disorder called Clinical Depression. They don't work on people who are "merely" having a bad year.

Sigh.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Don't despair in the face of human stupidity."\\

CH2M

In this case: Corvallis, Halsey, Harrisburg and Monroe -- to say nothing of Alpine, Junction City and various other towns, large and small, in the mid-Willamette Valley.

Kathe has recently started a new job, serving papers on people and appearing as a witness to official auctions (or more often, to the fact that no auction actually happened at such and such a place on such and such a date). In the furtherance of this mission, she is getting to know the various nooks and corners of the mid-Valley the way she used to know her mail route in Philomath.

When I have the chance, I ride along with her. We've made progress on our long-running project to review the coffee shacks of the Pacific Northwest (both their architecture and the quality of their mochas). The long periods of driving together have also allowed us to make some progress on other matters, too.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Take what you can get."\\

Dear National Review

Dear National Review:

Are you entirely sure that you want to remind the whole country that you* and the Communist Party USA were on opposite sides of the segregation issue -- and who was on which side, and stayed there . . . and stayed there . . . ?

Well, if you insist . . . .

* And when I say "you", I mean your entire staff back in those days (and more recently), most especially Mr. Buckley, as well as your official editorial policy.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "One man in the right is a majority of one. -- Thomas Paine, leftist activist"\\

Bush Liberates Cuba

In the tradition of the beloved Ronald Reagan, who tore down the Berlin Wall, Our Leader has succeeded in his efforts to topple Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.

He has called for...

He has called for...

[ /sarcasm command breaks down ]

Good grief, he has called for open and honest elections.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Don't allow any poll watchers from Florida."\\

Honk for Impeachment

Because at least it's better than bleating for immunity.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Do what you can and leave the rest."\\

My Innards, My Poor, Poor Innards

My innards are very unhappy with me. Yesterday and again today. I was going to go to a job fair in Lebanon yesterday. I was going to go to work tonight. Instead, I stayed home. I went to bed early last night, and plan to again tonight.

I know I'm really sick, because I don't make a fuss about going to bed early.


Ow, ow, my poor innards....

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Drink plenty of fluids."\\

Knock 'Em Down!

Good grief.

I can just barely imagine what it feels like to a resident of Gaza to be on the right side of a bulldozer for once.


//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "It's like schadenfreude without the guilt."\\

ReCAPTCHA Vanishing Literature

Using CAPTCHAs to translate text which computers can't read.

What a cool idea.

Way cooler than using idle computers for SETI, even.

Almost as cool as having a robot for a best friend.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Take what you can get."\\

Sorry to Have Fallen Silent

I'm not writing anything here lately because

1) I'm pretty much recovered from the brain surgery.

2) Some things are happening in my life that are much worse than any mere brain tumor, and I'm not ready to talk about them in public.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Take care of yourself, John."\\

[UPDATE: I'd like to clarify that my current condition is not life-threatening. It only make me wish I were dead.]

Goodbye, Albright & Raw

What a damned shame.

Kathe and I had a good time yesterday, going through the near-vacant Albright & Raw Rexall store, buying a few of their remnants of stock. Just a few items left in their storerooms, and then it's gone.

What a damned shame.

Still, it was fun, buying a pill bottle here, a cardboard box there. A bottle of scary-sounding asthma medication to give to Waldy.

But what a damned, ruinous, totally unnecessary shame.

Shame on George W. Bush, whose dingbat Medicare scheme destroyed independent drug stores like Albright & Raw.

Just a damned shame.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Corporatism. It's what's for dinner."\\

Lame, Yet Better Than Nothing

Adopt a penguin, get a sugar cookie cutter in the shape of one.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Probably more than you have done for penguins this week."\\

Still Still Here

Nerving myself up to go back to work. I think I'm ready. My doctor has released me to go back. But really, lives are in my hands, and I do take that responsibility seriously.

But I have to go back sooner or later.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Be strong. Be brave. Be grateful you've had as much recovery time as you've had already."\\

Still Here

Oops, sorry, let a few days go by without a post. Folks are liable to think I finally dropped dead.

No, but nothing much of other interest has happened, either.

Big item: the hole in my forehead is no longer pulsating visibly. Instead, I sometimes feel what I suppose is pressure building up against the tender new bone of the now-closed hole. It's a bit unnerving, although less so than that pulsating head business.

It would be interesting to see how many people immediately think "baby" and how many think "alien", and whether there's any sort of correlation there.

Refreshment of a Different Kind

Kathe and I poured oil into the heater's tank. With me still on light duty, we had to pour it into a tiny (2 gal. 8 oz. -- why such an odd amount?) can and make many, many trips up and down. Later, we walked downtown this morning, looked in at Browser's Books, made copies at Henderson's and had coffee at the Red Horse. A fairly heavy day, these days.

I dwelled obsessively upon the way that my cerebrospinal fluid is still making my forehead bulge with every pulsation. It kept my hat from sitting comfortably.

//The Magic Eight-Ball observes that "Pulsating cerebrospinal fluid is better than the other kind."\\

Something Else Refreshing

A post on something besides my damned brain tumor, because I'm sick of thinking about it.

Instead, let's consider things like:

The MIT Logo Folded From a Single Sheet of Paper

Note with interest the various stages in which the origamus's ontology recapitulates its phylogeny: at various stages, it resembles first an airplane, then a mother airplane nursing its brood, then the sword Steve Reeves carried in Hercules Versus the Goat Women, before finally taking on recognizable shape as a university emblem.

or maybe

The World's Biggest Moose

"Inside the mouth, between the teeth and the tonsils, you will find the gift shop."
Please note that the above is not a bit of silliness, but an actual fact, straight out of the voiceover on the video.

or else

Robot Violin Playing

Damn. Just look at that thing go, and try to keep in mind that it's real: a real five-foot tall robot, actually playing that actual violin.

or even

A Book Report

"It is my considered opinion that The Mill on the Floss would have been vastly improved by an alien invasion about half way through."

My first thought on this was that it provided useful impetus for fanfic writers. We can start with the question of what kind of aliens they'll be, whether existing or original, and what form their invasion will take. From there, we can move on to consider alternative venues, such as Silas Marner, Emma, The Mayor of Casterbridge and Wuthering Heights.

Or not.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Feeling better, are we?"\\

Staples Out

Well, that's refreshing. The staples are out, and Kathe and I are just back from Eugene, where a very kind and capable Physician's Assistant pulled them. Kathe suggested I have them gilded for the holidays, but I'm just as glad to be done with them.

Aside from that, it was practically an ordinary day, but then I'm still on that Fentanyl patch.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Keep on keepin' on."\\

Now, This is a Day More Like It!

Yesterday I felt kinda sorta okay, and counted it as a victory. Today I walked downtown with Kathe and looked in stores and stopped for a mocha and a danish, and felt pretty damned normal. I like being normal. Normal feels so good.

[Smile, smile]

But check in with me tomorrow -- who knows where I'll be by then?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Cover all your bets."\\

Feeling Much Better Now (This Time For Sure!)

For the moment, anyway. It requires Fentanyl patches with liquid Morphine for backup, but the headaches are under control. Oh, well. My clients will just have to make do, I guess, until I am ready to go back to work. I certainly don't want someone with my current state of mind to be rubbing anybody's back, much less dispensing their medications.

If that seems like a harsh assessment, well, I've been forced to make a lot of those lately.

Anyway, I'm trying to get back on track, though maybe I just need to be patient. In the meantime, watch this space.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "The obviousness of the wisdom of long-term planning is exceeded only by the obviousness that there was not enough of it."

+168 Hours Or Something And Counting

God. What a mess. Talk about your lost week and then some.

Not too bad right after surgery, but then I started having worse and worse symptoms: headache, nausea, weakness, extreme sensitivity to pain, photosensitivity. I had to go back for three CAT scans before they were convinced that there wasn't something putting pressure on my brain*. Now the thought is that it's an "intractable migraine" brought on but not directly caused by the surgery.

Only the IV drugs seemed to have any effect -- possibly because my stomach was totally shut down. So, I'd go into the emergency room and get a jolt of phenergan or dilaudid and feel pretty good, and they'd send me home with a bottle of pills, and so on.

[I may have left something important out, or gotten something wrong, but that's the way I remember it right now]

The worst part of it all was that there was nothing to distract me from the pain, and nothing to pass the time. All I could do was lie there thinking about every last little detail of how bad I felt, and how long it was going to be until I could have another, and whether I was going to sleep at all, and if so, how would I feel when I woke up?

Right now, though, I'm on what appears to be a winning combination of 1) a three-day patch, 2) PRN liquid morphine and 3) anti-nausea suppositories.

This has been quite a disappointing week. Not at all what I'd been led to expect. Still, I seem to have survived it.

And there's still some time for the enjoyable parts of this sick leave: walking downtown, showing off my staples, &c.

And there are a lot of things to get done: decorations, postcards, getting a new watch (seems to have disappeared at the hospital), &c.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Take it easy."\\

+ 23 hours and Counting

So don't expect your usual high level of wqith and typingm bewcause I'm still loaded up with ... stuff.

But I wanted everybody to know that I'm still alive, and liable to stay that way.
I can do a decent coopy later when I'm up for it.

The good news is that this is not the sort of thing you can expectr fromme from now on -- I'm assured that this fuzzy head is merely tyhr result of bad medications and not (primarily) from the hole in my head which in am7y event is still pretty fresh.

Anyway, just wanted you yto know the most significant thing, which isa that 1) the CAT scan indicaties that the first scraping worked successfully, which means thwt won't have to go in and clean pout eh the rest later. and 2) although it was none of the interesting and unusual growths they thought iot was, it is benign, which means I am liable to live, or at least not get any wporse. Sounds good to me.

Kathe thinmks it' s stupid to leave this as is, as though this indicates something about thet state of my mind., OTOH., it alsop m,eans I won't have to go back and crtrect it all, and that sounds good to me right about now.

18 Hours and Counting

I'm at my parents' house in Monroe after dinner, using their computer and struggling with its unfamiliar keyboard.

Mom & Dad, Kathe and me, our son Waldy and his girlfriend Mary, my brother Tom and his girls, Linda and Andrea. Our daughter Biftu (aka Asnakech) was going to come from Portland, but she thought the family was gathering in Corvallis, and by the time the bus would have brought her to Corvallis we would have been long-gone to Monroe. So Biftu went over to her sister Sarah's house instead. Oh, well.

And all the while, the countdown continues: nine hours until I become NPO (not a big concern on the evening of Thanksgiving), fifteen hours until I check in at Sacred Heart, seventeen and a half hours until the drill bites in.

Am I boring you yet?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Sometimes you bore, and sometimes you get bored."\\

38 Hours And Counting

As the clock runs out leading up to my surgery, I'm getting a flurry of unexpected calls from people wanting to schedule a massage.

So many people (and so much money) that I'd be tempted to suspect a pronoid* fantasy of people conspiring to hit me with a raft of money just before I go off work for awhile, except that these are mainly people I've never seen before.

One more night in my own bed....

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Why wait until the last minute?"

*Opposite of paranoid.

60 Hours And Counting

Kathe and I had dinner at Izzy's with my parents and Uncle Charles, as well as Aunts Pat and Sandra. A sort of pre-Thanksgiving, since Charles won't be at the main gathering at my parents' place on Thursday.

The time of surgery fast approaches, will I or nill I.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "3600 seconds per hour. Not just a good idea, it's the law."\\

Still Waiting

Tonight is my last shift of home-care work. No more night shifts, and no day work at the activity center. I may get a call or two for a massage (I hope so), but otherwise there isn't much to do except show up at my parents' house for Thanksgiving, sleep overnight at my Aunt Pat's place in Junction City, and check in at Sacred Heart in Eugene at 0600 Friday morning, to be prepped for surgery at 0730.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Fear is the mind-killer."\\

I'm Scared

In the morning, Kathe and I will be going to Eugene to meet with the anesthesiologist who'll be conducting me through the Ivory Gate. Tonight, I sit and wonder if the thingie in my brain is as innocuous as all of the doctors seem to think.

I've never had a really good memory, but now it seems bad enough to actually scare me.

Months ago, I told Kathe that it was my understanding that X was blue. A few weeks later, I said, "Of course, you remember when I said X was red, right?" We had a rather heated discussion on the subject. It was unpleasant, and not the sort of thing a person is likely to forget under normal circumstances.

And yet, the other day I said to Kathe, "I don't know why anyone would think X was blue. I certainly never said so." She had to remind me of our previous discussion, at which point it all came back to me -- but how could I not think of it whenever the subject of the color of X came up?

This is scary. Or am I just reading too much into an ordinary lapse because I'm already afraid of the surgery? I don't know.

//The Magic Eight-Ball

Poor, Poor Religious Right

"Kathe, I notice that people are making a big fuss this year over how the Religious Right have little to choose from among Republican candidates, as though this were something new."

"If you're the Religious Right and you're limiting yourselves to Republican candidates, you're bound to wind up disappointed."

"Exactly. Oooh, I must go make a blog post, I just thought of a wonderfully snotty turn of phrase."

"By the way, I don't think you've mentioned that you now have a firm date for your surgery. I think the last time you mentioned it, it was still 'we think the 23rd' and you said 'Get back to me when you know for sure.'"

"Gee, I thought I'd mentioned at least once that my surgery is now definitely set for Friday, November 23rd at 7:30 AM. But if not, I'd better mention it today."

[15 minutes later]

"So anyway, that wonderfully snarky turn of phrase was:

It must be pretty discouraging to be a member of the Religious Right these days, having to choose between unpalatable contenders like Rudolph Giuliani and Mitt Romney, or a wretch like Mike Huckabee, who's foul in quite different ways, and besides would lose to Christopher Dodd.

But what else is new? At least since Ronald Reagan, every Republican candidate has painted a picture of himself as a titan with a fiery red white and blue halo, a Bible in one hand and the nuclear button in the other, a gay man crushed under one foot and a teenaged girl under the other. And every one who's been elected has delivered Babylonian corruption and Pharaonic incompetence.

It's as though every Democrat had billed himself as the new JFK and then...

Oh, right.


//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Souls bared on Larry King Live may be smaller than they appear."\\

Lest We Forget (As Usual)

"Hello?"
"Hi, Waldy. You're at our place, right, making lunch with Food Not Bombs?"
"Yeah."
"Could you do something for me -- I forgot about doing it before we left for Meeting."
"Sure."
"Could you go to the corner by the bedroom door and get the flag and hang it out?"
"Okay."
"Great. The Stars and Stripes, not the peace-symbol flag. It's Armistice Day*."
"Okay."**

I made it through Meeting without any abnormal reactions, so I guess that makes it a good week.

* It just now occurred to me that by calling just before Meeting, I caused the flag to be hung out at 11:00 exactly. How traditional.

** Waldy is a man of few words.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Remember."

Still Waiting Patiently

So, surgery on the 23rd, still haven't received anything in the way of information about how to prepare for surgery, still no hour set for surgery (the previous one was going to be 9AM, check in at 7 -- makes sense, since my day will be ruined anyhow).

Anxiety is definitely having an effect on my quality of life: headaches, chest pains, acid reflux in my mouth in the middle of the night -- tons of fun.

And a good time is had by all, thanks to my bad temper, gloom and fuzzy-headedness, which allow me to share the wealth with Kathe and other people around me.

Weirdly, the only times I really feel like myself are when I'm at work. I guess my work-self doesn't know he's about to have surgery.

And speaking of work: any mid-Valley resident who reads this should be aware that I will be working right up until surgery, including my massage practice, so by all means don't hesitate to call for a massage appointment between now and Thanksgiving. I could use the money, for the time while I'm off work recovering.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I'm not saying anything. I don't participate in spam."\\

Guess What?

NOTE: The following is not an actual transcript, just the gist of the conversation put in a form I thought would be enjoyable. The person I spoke with made a small error but corrected it at once and was professional throughout. No disrespect or misrepresentation is intended.

[Phone rings]

[neutral voice, not knowing if it will be friend, massage client, bad news] "Hello, this is John Burt."

[chirpy voice] "Hi! Your surgery has been approved, so we can put you on the schedule now."

[icy voice] "I thought I had been on the schedule for November 20th. For a couple of weeks now. All my plans were based on that."

[abashed voice] "Um, oh, I see, I was thinking you were one of the ones just approved. Yes, here, the doctor is having a family emergency, so his surgeries are being rescheduled. I think I can get you in for the 23rd, the day after Thanksgiving."

[pleasant voice] "I see. Well, thanks for the update. Let me know when a firm date is set, and I'll make plans accordingly."

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, [portentous voice] "The best laid plans...."\\

[Update: Surgery will definitely be on the 23rd. Plan all visits, massage appointments, &c. accordingly.]

Boom

Sorry, I'm not feeling like being a responsible liberal today.

Or even a Quaker.

Don't mind me, I'll be feeling better soon.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Ka-Blam."\\

Do Your Job or Get Out of the Way, Nancy!

Congress would like to restore at least part of the Consumer Product Safety Division, which used to do such a good job of keeping unsafe products off American shelves.

Unfortunately, CPSC chair Nancy Nord is opposed to Congress giving her a bigger budget, more staff and more enforcement powers. God forbid she should be invited to actually do her stinkin' job!

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Heckuva job."\\

[The 2007 Supplement to The Meaning of Liff defines "nord" as "v., p.t.: To have deliberately left a task undone. Contraction of 'ignored'."]

I Talk Funny

Awhile back, I noticed that I seemed to be speaking some dialect of English of unknown origin:

When I complete a task successfully, I say "Good-good." There are forms of English in which this is standard, but I've never lived around people who said it.

When someone thanks me for help, I don't say "'Tweren't nothin'" or "No problem," I say "Always-always." Gee, where did that come from?

There are more examples, but they'll have to wait for another time. I can't recall them right now.

[Update, 6 November: I still can't think of any of my other peculiarities of speech, except for a tendency to say "on offer" instead of "available" or "for sale". That's a Britishism, I think.]

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, //"Speak and be counted."\\

Free Elections [Take One]

Immense effort is currently being expended to ensure that people who are not U.S. citizens or otherwise not entitled to, do not vote in U.S. elections.

Not that there's been a big problem with this. Or even any problem. But the matter must be vigorously prosecuted.

Especially against Democrats.

Meanwhile, considerably less energy is being expended towards ensuring that legitimate votes, once cast, actually get counted.

Funniest thing.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I'm not laughing."\\

Gargoyles

From: John M. Burt (john_m_burt@hotmail.com)
To: backfence@news.oregonian.com

To the Back Fence Columnist:

When you pass on to V.D. of Tigard directions to Portland-area gargoyles so he can show them to his visiting grandchildren, don't forget to mention that the most famous local gargoyle, the Doyle Owl, is missing.

Hopefully,

John M. Burt

[No quote is available from the Magic Eight-Ball today. Anyone knowing of its whereabouts should contact me at once, or at least put up a video on YouTube.]

Scary Halloween Picture

Yes, there's actually a reason for this image.

Shakespeare's Sister posted a picture of a tarantumunk. One of the commentors imagined sending that pic to the Pet Tribute Creations site. I created my version of a Pet Tributes image, and here it is.

Is this image blasphemous? I don't think so. All God's creatures, and all that.

Of course, the tarantumunk can hardly be called one of God's creatures, can it? Hmmm.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Not every reason is a good one."\\

Don't Pick on Peru

The Peru Free Trade Agreement is a bad deal for working people in the U.S., but it's a disaster for working people in Peru.

So why is anybody for it?

Well, not everybody works for a living, you know.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Follow the money."\\

Mass Extinction -- Our Bad

Urge your Senator to support the Global Warming Wildlife Survival Act.

Because polar bears need love, too, or anyway, they need a piece of ice to sit on.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Think."\\

What Now?!

For cryin' out loud, can't I catch a break? It's still three and a half weeks until the surgery for my brain tumor, and now I have to stagger out of Meeting with a painful sense of pressure in my chest with referral to my neck and jaw!

Well, the EKG and the blood chemistry they did at Immediate Care were all normal-looking. The X-ray says my heart is a bit on the big side, but then so is the rest of my chest, so I'm not taking that as a bad sign.

Good thing. It'd be a sorry comment if my heart couldn't take the strain of a Corvallis Quaker Meeting.

Probably it was just some sort of digestive mishap -- lots of coffee and stress lately. I'll try these sample Protonix tablets and see how my innards respond.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Lub-dup, lub-dup...".\\

Re-Constitution

I'm working at my night job as a caregiver, sitting at my client's computer (with, ahem, his permission, of course), looking out a row of picture windows. Since I'm writing on my blog, that means I'm also in the lookout tower atop my own house, a couple of miles away. Either way, I've got a great view of the predawn Willamette Valley.

The eastern light fades from blue to greenish-yellw to orange to a most exquisite and peculiar dark red. Fog lies on the Valley floor, looking so substantial that it's hard to believe how it will burn off once the sun hits it.

And here I sit pondering the current administration and its ineffectual opposition.

I don't know how other people feel about it, but I like our Constitution, and I think it would be a good idea if we went back to living by it.

There was a time when saying that would have made me a conservative.

Or maybe I am one. I could live with that.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You are what you are. Whatever that is."\\

Torture is Bad

It was a good morning for Kathe, and Ghu knows she needed one. It was

1) A clear, mild Autumn day -- Kathe's favorite time of year.

2) The OSU Homecoming Parade went right by the house, with all the things a parade should have to earn her favor: horses and marching bands (only two, but they were pretty good).

3) The OSU band made the unusual choice to play "Fat Bottomed Girls", a song that is almost as close to her heart as a certain fat-bottomed girl is to my own.

On another topic: Um, did I mention already that decent people don't commit torture, or condone it?

Just checking.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Check and double check."\\

Mostly About Me

I've been forced to think about myself lately, and I find that in some important ways I am not at all the man I thought I was.

I have always thought of myself as an analytical person with a scientific view of life, but recently I've found that some long-held opinions about people and things around me don't hold up under logical scrutiny. It would appear that quite often, I form a vague impression about something and then bumble along acting on that, ignoring evidence that the object (a person, a device, a way of folding towels) was quite different from what I presumed it to be.

How did I fail to miss something so basic about myself? It would appear that I presumed that because I was an atheist and read science fiction, that automatically made me clear-eyed and perceptive. It's a miracle that I didn't become an Objectivist.

I clearly need to develop some perspective on life, and quit relying on my own impressions of everything, including the impressions that I often accept uncritically from books and from the people around me.

I also need to pay some attention to the fact that it's been a long time since I was entirely sure I was an atheist.

Elsewhere in the news:

# I may or may not be attending my parents' Thanksgiving dinner in Monroe, and I may or may not be up to much, two days after surgery. In any event, there won't be any Thanksgiving at Blackberry House this year. Our son Waldy and his girlfriend* Mary have been invited to join in the gathering in Monroe, as have our daughter Biftu (aka Asnakech) who lives in Portland. Our son Tes, last sighted in Portland, could also come if he wants. So could our daughter Michu (aka Mestowet), if she were crazy enough to try to fly in from Texas, though if she had any such notion I'm sure she'd have told us by now.

* "No I'm not!" -- Mary

# I have now scraped the grass completely off the corner space where I intend to plant a rock garden. The ground slopes steeply down from the utility pole, not well-suited for an unanchored rock surface, so I believe I'll make at least one terrace, probably held back by a retaining wall of loose red bricks.

The soil, like most of the soil around the house, is mostly clay, but there's a small rim of good healthy dirt alongside the curb. I hope that in the spring we'll be able to restore the daffodils that used to grow there. There are still plenty of cut ends of roots in the clay, so I expect there will be plenty of sprouting for me to discourage before I finally put down the layer of crushed rock and then begin decorating it with pretty rocks and broken crockery.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "It's not all about you, but some of it is."\\

Keeping it Simple

How's this for simple:
Tell college students, "If They Bomb Iran, You Get Drafted".

And you know that this time, the people who killed the Equal Rights Amendment won't so much as blush when they start drafting women anyway.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "The pricks of conscience do no affect the conscience of pricks."\\

Surgery Scheduled: 20 NOV 2007

I just this minute got off the phone with Dr. McGirr's assistant, and my surgery is now scheduled for 9:00 AM on 20 November 2007*, at Sacred Heart in Eugene.

Kathe will stay at my aunt Pat's place in Junction City. We're looking forward to that -- we haven't seen it yet.

There. I said I'd let you know more as soon as I knew more, and now you know everything I know.

And when I know more, I'll let you know that, too.

*I may or may not be able to make Thanksgiving at my parents' house in Monroe.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Blessed be."\\

Subependymoma

Gonna Have Surgery...Someday

I've been waiting rather anxiously for word from my neurosurgeon's office about scheduling surgery. Waiting and waiting for the Motorola Q phone in my pocket to ring. Last night at close to 1 AM, my phone informed me that I'd just received a new voicemail thanks to Sprint, my wireless provider. The voicemail was from a call that the neurosurgeon's assistant had placed to my phone at 9:30 the previous morning (at which time the phone was in my pocket, charged and turned on.

I called back the next morning, and just now got an answer (on our house phone): they're still waiting for approval from Blue Cross/Blue Shield, who apparently need to be persuaded that this so-called surgery isn't just recreational trephination.

Why, yes, sometimes it does indeed suck to be me, thank you for noticing.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "We all have our frailties."\\

Gonna Have Surgery

I told everybody I'd tell more when I knew more. I guess I know a little bit more now.

I saw Dr. McGirr this afternoon, and it looks as though I definitely need to have surgery.

Well, then, let's do it.

I still don't have a date scheduled, but it looks as though I'll be in Sacred Heart in Eugene for three days or so, and then have a recovery period more or less long.

So, keep me in your thoughts, and I'll let you know more when I know more.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "So far, so good."\\

The Fortunate Mr. Gore

Al Gore has a global audience and high approval, and he does all his campaigning and fundraising on his own schedule. I'm sure he's better off doing what he's been doing the past six years, than he would be if he'd been President.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Been kinda hard on the rest of us, tho...."\\

Something Nice

I'll let you know more when I know more. In the meantime, somebody did something rather nice or me.

I work three half-days a week at the Grace Center for Adult Day Services, most recently this Thursday. To my surprise, the staff presented me with a copy of Tom de Haven's novel It's Superman!

I think I'm supposed to read it while I'm laid up recuperating but
1) it's too good. I opened it and was drawn in immediately
2) life is too uncertain. Eat dessert first.

After all, after the surgery, I may not be able to read all those big words any more.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Stop that, John. Not everyone who reads this knows about your sense of humor."\\

We Can Haz 21st Senchry?

Ever since Barack Obama announced he was running for President, I've had this odd hopeful feeling that the past six demented years have only been a temporary aberration, and that soon the real 21st Century would begin.

After all, practically every science fiction film that doesn't have a woman as President to show it's the near future has an African American President. So with either Barack or Hillary, we'll be showing strong signs of having finally arrived in the future.

And now: Doris Lessing has won the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Tell me this isn't shaping up to be a century we can be glad we lived in it.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "At least by comparison with the 20th."\\

Big News, as Promised

As promised, an important piece of personal news.

It turns out Arnold was wrong: it is a tumor.

The other day, Kathe sent a small group of friends a link to a study that said sex is actually good for a headache. I hit "reply all", as I usually do, and said that while that had generally been my experience also, the other day I'd had an orgasm* and i had caused the whole left side of my face to light up with pain, a spasm that had faded to leave behind a headache that lasted more than 30 hours.

I didn't think much of it myself, just an anomaly, but one of the other recipients urged me to go get a brain scan. They didn't find anything that would explain that sudden pain, but quite by chance they did find something growing in my brain's right ventricle.

It's most likely (touch wood) a subependymoma, a growth of the membrane cells lining the ventricle. It might be various other things, but all of them are benign things(touch wood). Apaprently it's not displaying any of the marks of one of those nasty malignant brain tumors you hear about (go buy a carved wooden finger ring).

Right now, we're looking for a neurosurgeon who does this kind of operation, preferably endoscopically. When my doctor first told me what i had and where it was, I pictured bloody gloved hands prying my brain hemispheres apart like buttcheeks. I knew it wasn't really done that way, but after seeing some of the actual surgical options, I'd have been willing to settle for that. But really, I want the endoscopic job if I can get it.

That's about all I know right now. I'll let you know more when I know more myself. In the meantime, please hold me in the Light.

* I didn't think such a reference was indecent, so long as I didn't go into details.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Even in here, there is a light, and I will hold you in it, John."\\

Pending Notification of Family

If you are a personal friend of mine, please call me. All others, watch this space.

Why They Love Us So Much

http://www.sydesjokes.com/link/funnyclip000003.html

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "*sigh*"\\

Yes, On The Damned Table

The impeachment of Dick Cheney.

Damn right.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Damn right."\\

My Little Cthulhu

There, I climbed up to the lookout tower and blogged about something before the end of the month.

True, there are more pressing things to blog about than My Little Cthulhu, but something is better than nothing.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Well, some somethings are better than nothing, anyway...."\\

Don't Look at Me

I wasn't one of the tens of thousands who wrote / telephoned / e-mailed Congress to get the worst bits removed from the misbegotten Lieberman-Kyl Amendment.

It's been a very difficult, unpleasant month, and I didn't do much of anything. I didn't even write this Saturday afternoon post until Sunday evening (no wonder the lookout seems even shakier than ever -- it's doubly imaginary).

But I'm so glad that we aren't at war with Iran.

Yet.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "At least, not officially."\\

Thank You, Adoptive Mothers

Mothers who adopted orphaned children in Botswana, Jamaica, Cambodia and Lebanon get a special letter of thanks from thepetitionsite.com

And by the way, Kathe gets a special thank you from me: Thanks for Waldy, Michu, Biftu and Tesfaye.

//The Magic Eight Ball says, "Give credit where credit is due."\\

Why "Kucinich Doesn't Have a Chance"

"Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel have low poll numbers -- because we don't include them in our polls."

Yep, that would explain it, all right.

The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Suspicions confirmed."\\